SPOILER: Rank Narrative

Turn back now if you don't want to ruin the story as contained on this page is the rank narrative between the player and Bicka (the narrator / veteran tasked to help you through the game). You have been warned ....

Rank Narrative

• RANK 1 - CANNON FODDER When you die (not IF), no one will even remember your name. Your worth less than the screws used to hold the lavatory door. Harsh, but true.

• RANK 2 - SCRUB Welcome to the club, SCRUB. Get your crap and get moving, ain't no one pulling favours for the new kid.

• RANK 3 - TRAINEE So you've made yourself a couple of friends, don't flunk about now chump, get to class.

• RANK 4 - JUNIOR Geez, you passed the multiple choice entry exam. Look at you. You now own more knowledge than the mess hall wall. Barely.

• RANK 5 - CADET Head in books and couldn't tie a shoe lace. You'll get there nugget, hopefully before we lose the planet to fricking Space Goblins.

• RANK 6 - SPACE CADET Someone went and passed their flight training eh? Got yourself a shiny new patch on your arm and you're walking around like a prize turkey. Get some flight hours on your pad before you brush arms with the Space Monkeys, nugget.

• RANK 7 - SPACE MONKEY Welcome aboard Space Monkey. So you found the keys to the hangar door, eh? Let's see if you can leave the damn thing on it's hinges as we head out on patrol. Don't get left behind, nugget.

• RANK 8 - MARINE Done a tour, still no stripes, seen a little action though, right? It's gonna get real sweaty from here on in, kid. Strap in and kiss your ass goodbye, we got some space jellies to fry!

• RANK 9 - SPACE RANGER Taking to this business like a duck to water. Got yourself some recognition from the Space Pansies I see. Fancy little stripe you got on your shoulder, or is that kitty glitter.

• RANK 10 - CORPORAL Two stripe TomTom. I'm betting you're thinking you're worth a damn right about now, huh? Stripes come and go, kid. Fly fast, stay low, and hope they don't push you out to Sec-3 and make a meal of you for entertainment.

• RANK 11 - SERGEANT Well look what the mouse dragged in. Get any more stripes on that shoulder you're gonna look like a barcode. Still bumming it down there in the non-commissioned ranks, eh? How about you prove your worth and get your ass into the toff's club. We could use a good giggle.

• RANK 12 - ENSIGN Well what do you know? Nugget went and got himself a baby title. Least you got rid of those god forsaken stripes. Looked like a ticker-cat in mating season last I saw ya. Bloody embarrassing if you ask me.

• RANK 13 - TECHNICIAN Officer on deck.... what, wait, where? (laughs uncontrollably) Geez kid, gimme a break will ya. I'm running out of insults. You're gonna want to be looking into research and crafting real soon, if you're not already. You might just learn a thing or two. Please, for the love of all things unnatural and unpleasant; DO NOT hang that damn certificate in your room. A bloody waste of good ink and glue, that is.

• RANK 14 - SPECIALIST Starting to show some promise here. Remind me though. What exactly is it; that you specialize in, kitten?

• RANK 15 - AGENT New suits and shiny shoes. Nugget went and got himself some swagger. You just gone bit off more than you can chew. You ain't avoiding Sec-3 now. They gonna have you out there as an example to the rest of the Kitty Litter. A little reminder that suit and slippers, still make you look like a kipper.

• RANK 16 - ACE Okay Ace. Your embracing the officer ranks now. Your performance is starting to generate a little interest from the Corp Donkeys. They'll be pinning a tail on ya before you know it and have you trotting around like an April Fool. You gotta have bigger ambitions than that, kid.

• RANK 17 - MASTER SPACE MONKEY Ta ta ta TAAAH! Enter, Master Space Monkey. You're gonna have yourself a little picture on the side of some kitty snacks before you know it. You're heading in the right direction. You're like the lead squealer of that Tomcat Band, no one remembers, from like 4071. (Bicka begins to squeal like he trapped his tail in the door)

• RANK 18 - HOT SHOT Alright hot shot. I see you. Making waves and going places. Let's see how long this lasts, shall we?

• RANK 19 - SPEC OPS You have my attention. What are you planning to do about those mercs and pirates in Null Sec? We could take a look, see what trouble we can get in to. Watcha think? Cat gotcha tongue?

• RANK 20 - GRANDMASTER SPACE MONKEY Hahaha, we had those rats scurrying. You're no spring chicken now, Nug..... (Bicka stops himself from using a derogatory nickname, for the first time, we're clearly making progress on the relationship front with him) Finally, a rank worth piping off about. So what's the plan GM?

• RANK 21 - FLIGHT OFFICER Ho ho ho, ain't no one wiping that smile off your face today, kid. That's one for the books. Dang, you ain't blushing now are ya? New boots and suits. What, what is that? Are they frickin' WINGS on your shoulders? Well, since we got wings; let's get to flying, chicken.

• RANK 22 - FLIGHT TECHNICIAN If it's blinking, just kick it, right ace? Tech looks good on you. Wonder if you could whip up a saucy salvo to throw at those Cyrbian Crud-Mullets. Pesky blighters had off with my Solixian thruster mods a few days back. Maybe we give them a sweet little send off, next they visit the trade rig, hmmm? Yeah yeah, that's a plan.

• RANK 23 - FLIGHT MARSHALL Ain't no time for side-stepping and polishing ya pips, Marsh. Those ram-jammers will be off with ya ship before you can pull your pants up. If you're after some down time, you best book it up quick. Ain't no haggling gonna save ya if you don't get to the Solixian Solstice this weekend. Top toffs and their vacation stations.

• RANK 24 - LIEUTENANT Officer on deck! So what we hunting today Louie? I heard those Barrasion Boys have been kicking up a stink just outside of Paly? We could throw some beacons out, see if we can pick up some signatures. Maybe throw the intel up on Zeddic and watch those b**tards squirm. Oooh, I'd love to see their faces when half the Northern Quarter turn up looking for their money, hahaha.

• RANK 25 - CAPTAIN Captain on deck. Stand, ya rotwombles! Sorry captain. Never liked pips personally, but you're starting to get attached to them I see. Congrats on the promotion again, sir. How 'bout a tipple of Narp Nectar once these paper-hobbits scoot? You got access to the haul logs from 10-Sec last week? Heard they found enough Narp Nectar to drown a legion of Gannit. Oooh-ho-ho-ho.... I wouldn't sleep for a month if I were locked up with that batch, I can tell ya. Not a wink!

• RANK 26 - SQUADRON LEADER Not happy with your personal cruiser, sir? Got your fingers into a fleet of them I heard. They won't believe them when I tell them I'm shaking hands with the new Squadron Leader. No way they'll be believing that. What's on the agenda, sir? You checked the bounty board? Let's shake it up a little and catch us a dread? (an awkward pause) Too ambitious?

• RANK 27 - SQUADRON COMMANDER When I said catch a dread, I didn't think you'd take the helm. Squad Com. I'm ... I'm lost for words. (mutters to himself) Did I just say that? What? Uhm. (Bicka notices the ships Jump Drive Engine) What .... W .. What is this? Jump .... Dri.... Wait, what?!?!? Are You .... (nervous and excited), This baby got a JUMP DRIVE! Oh beam me up SnotRot, we gotta fire this baby up, Commander. Just say the word! Say it, SAY IT .... (Bicka whimpers) pl-eeeeaasee!

• RANK 28 - COLONEL Ain't no surprise to see a new shiny in your cabinet Colonel, sir. Never had any doubts from the start. We just got settled into this vessel, sir. I assume we'll be moving on to our next ship soon? They commissioned those new KRV-12's out in Vatus yet? Heard the 12's got sub-warp tracking. Ahhh, you kids get all the toys.

• RANK 29 - GENERAL Congratulations on your promotion General. I've been informed that High Command have processed your documents and your new access rights to the R and D (research and development) - Level 5 files, have been granted. Your presence has been requested at High Command in Sector-5.

• RANK 30 - COMMODORE I have just received notice from High Command that you have been assigned to Fleet 4192-Alpha. They have requested acknowledgement of your station and would like to know our ETA to Dedrok. We have 70 vessels on standby awaiting your arrival. I'm not sure what's a stirring out there Commodore, but it don't look good. I guess we're gonna be thrown right into the heat of it again, sir. New title, new troubles. My best guess is that we could arrive there by 14:00 local time tomorrow. I will send acknowledgement right away, sir.

• RANK 31 - VICE ADMIRAL Vice Admiral <playername>. Well, what do you know. It's hard to believe that we're still here, together, reminiscing and kicking sticks. How about we head over to Brellik and pick up some of that Valorian Sea Bass. (begins to drool vocally) *drrooooll* That stuff certainly does hit the spot. You got the cash now, new promotion an' all.

• RANK 32 - ADMIRAL Let me be the first to congratulate you on your promotion of Admiral. Sir, it's been nothing but a pleasure to have been of service to you. Regretfully, I fear I no longer have anything more to offer you. It's been an incredible adventure, wouldn't ya say so Admiral, sir? Now, I promised myself I wouldn't get too emotional. Allow me to call the fleet and announce your arrival one last time, sir. I sure will miss this vessel. I hope that we might meet again, and that I might one day be able to join you in another adventure. Ensign, open fleet comms. (Bicka radios the fleet) Calling all members of Fleet 4192-Alpha. This is Captain Bicka of 'The Victory'. I would like for you all to take a moment with me, in congratulating Admiral <playername> on their promotion. For one final time before I sign off, please stand firm, stand proud, and Salute, our new Admiral of the Fleet, Admiral <playername>. Captain Bicka, signing off for the last time. May the stars forever be your guiding light. (Bicka closes comms) It's been a wild ride, sir. I'll be heading out now. Until we meet again Admiral. (Bicka leaves)